TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 13)

Welcome to this weeks Miniatures & Musings!

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TIM’s Mid Week Miniature

This weeks figure is a Jomsviking by Gripping Beasts.  They do make very nice miniatures and this one was no exception.

DSC_0594DSC_0591 (1)DSC_0592 (1)DSC_0590 (1)

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Birthday Presents

Just over a week ago it was my birthday and in the lead up to it I was unsurprisingly asked by She Who Must be Obeyed what I would like by way of a present.  Naturally my first instinct was to consider asking for the services of a young women with the oral suction power of a Dyson Vacuum Cleaner but decided I might be pushing my luck.  Besides I couldn’t see SWMBO spending that much money on me.

Instead I decided on a set of Artis Opus brushes.  I remembered that back in April Alex of the Leadbaloony bought a set at for his birthday at Salute.  The sensible thing to have done would have been to ask him what he thought of them before tasking SWMBO with the purchase but then again Alex is a smart lad and if he thought they were good enough to buy then what more justification did I need?

Up to now I have been using Winsor and Newton Series 7 which are fantastic and comparable in price but by all accounts these brushes are the dogs bollocks so in due course I will let you know what I think of them.

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Modelling Retirement Planning  – Step 3

Imagine you are a raw recruit having been handed a loaded weapon and for the first time in your life you are required to shoot someone dead.  Are you ruthless enough to do so?  Remember it is you verses them.  Now Hang on to that image as I take you through the finer points of Step 3 – Dusting!

Now if you have stuck with the program so far then you will have:

  1. extended your weekend from 2 days a week to 4,
  2. only be doing jobs 3 days a week in the mornings,
  3. completed all the indoor jobs on your to do list,
  4. be ready to make good on your promise to help your other half with her household chores.

The first thing to remember when you ask your other half “what can I do to help you darling?” is that she has her own routine, her own list of regular chores and that on that list of chores are several she hates doing.  If you think you are going to get a nice job delegated to you then forget it.  You are going to get a shit job and because she probably doesn’t trust you to do anything properly you will almost certainly be given the job of dusting.  After all what could you possibly do wrong?

Phase 1

To begin with it is important to do the job in a slap dash way.  This should come easily to you because it is shit job that you do not want to do anyway, however, you must see this as an opportunity.  It is important to remember that nothing, absolutely nothing must go back in the right place.  This is also a great chance to break things she has on display which you do not like and have hated for years.  Try not to wreck the place but it is vital that things get broken.

The chances are the first thing you break will not cause a problem.  You may be called clumsy but the job of dusting is still yours.  In due course you must up your game.  Focus less on how much you break and more on the sentimental value of the object itself.  At some point you will inevitably have to break something which she holds dear.  This is where you need to try to retain the image of the raw recruit.  Are you a man or a mouse?  If you answer “squeak” then you are stuck with dusting forever.  Sad to see her cry I grant you but don’t lose sight of the end game.  Remember, life can be harsh.

Having completed your mission of breaking something she values the task of dusting will almost certainly not be given to you again.

Phase 2

If you have been making the most of your additional painting and modelling time then you have almost certainly produced more items for storage and/or display.  Now that you are no longer charged with dusting the time has arrived to start putting some of these completed items on display around the house.  I would recommend doing this once your relationship with your other half is back on an even keel or she will start to break them.

Having these models spread around the house will inevitably increase the time taken for her to properly dust.  Instinctively you will know the right time to say to her “Dearest, I have an idea on how best to make the job of dusting easier for you”.  She will bite your hand off for any forthcoming solution which leaves you free to spend money on another display case.

Simples!

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This week TIM has been listening to …

T-Rex and “Get It On”.

Not surprisingly I love the music of the 70’s, it was my teens after all.  Meaningless lyrics and dodgy fashion but brilliant none the less.  This was a great track when it first hit the charts and T-Rex and Bolan were huge at the time.  Sadly I used to drive passed the place where Bolan was killed in a car accident every time I went to watch Chelsea play.  I guess some people are destined to die young.

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This week TIM has been watching …

The Untouchables staring Kevin Costner and Robert De Niro.

In the final episode of Peak Blinders (series 4) reference was made to Al Capone which was all the inspiration I needed to dig this classic out of the cupboard!

Image result for the untouchables movie

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Until next time.

TIM

 

13 thoughts on “TIM’s Miniatures & Musings (No: 13)

  1. Bloody pearler again Dave ,bloody phase one got me mate !! ,It’s luck you put the figure up first other wise I wouldn’t have been able see it ! and well painted mate .T-rex were pretty cool back then and I always wondered what would have happened to them if not for the accident .

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Definitely a nice viking figure – well done! And it sounds like our birthdays are only days apart! But I think we’re now on a diverging path with the retirement advice! Having been married 30 years in September coming (another “significant” event) I know my wife well enough to know that I am dead if I break anything while dusting! End of! If I suddenly stop blogging, it’s because I’ve followed your advice! Oh shit, now I’ve gone and knocked an ornament over!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I missed your comment, must have been dusting when it came through! I think I might have to put a health warning on my retirement tips for you John. If dusting is perilous for you then you haven’t got a prayer with what’s to come! 😉 Mines the 18th by the way in case you want to make a note for next year! 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Ah, the old “do anything you’re asked straight away and so badly that you’re never asked to do it again” trick. Can be applied to all walks of life, not just housework, although it did bring a swift end to my career as a skydiving instructor…

    Nice work on that viking, he looks fit to be a true jarl. Oh and happy birthday, all the best people are born at this time of year 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ll put it in the diary! September the 1st has a lot to recommend it too though – especially when it turns out that three other mates have their birthdays in the preceding week. No need for me to organise a party at the weekend, I just got to rock up and enjoy myself 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy belated birthday Dave! The Viking is very cool and looks the true berserker (though I think a berserker must have a shield to chew on based on some rules for a game that I played years ago. I love your retirement advice! However, for me, some will be unnecessary as I may have deliberately or accidentally achieved your goals years ago! As for dusting, I’m somewhat allergic to dust so I get a pass on that. I’m only allowed – yes allowed – to do towels for the laundry. My wife is a, as we say here, a “control freak” about many things, mostly around house maintenance and sometimes yard maintenance. And she knows it and as we have very similar personalities (well identical according to one professional personality profile we took), we laugh about it and I end up doing things I prefer as she does as well. The lawn has been a source of controversy at times. A few years ago, I had an office day at the house and she was in Worcester working. Normally, she likes to mow the lawn as exercise. It was early fall and the large ash tree we had then had dropped its leaves all over the driveway and on the adjacent small strip of land bordering our neighbors land. That strip also looked in need of mowing. So, being a good guy, I got out the mower, and thought I’d surprise her by cleaning up the leaves and mowing the lawn. As I proceeded, I noticed that other sections of the lawn seemed somewhat short, but carried on. She returned home from work (this was a Monday), and saw me mowing. I looked at her, and saw flames in her eyes. Unbeknownst to me, she had mowed the lawn on Sunday while I was I was busy golfing. She misinterpreted my good deed as criticism of her efforts. She yelled at me, and slammed the door and went into the house fuming. However, I shall go to my grave with her words in my brain, which were so impactful that even 15 years later I can accurately quote from memory: “IF YOU WANT TO STAY GODDAMNED MARRIED LEAVE THE FUCKING LAWNMOWER ALONE!”.

    I am a blessed man! And I have been granted permission to mow since, but the point I hope is clear!

    Liked by 1 person

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